LETTER TO A TEENAGER (#1). Honor parents, and forgive siblings.

There is a period of time called childhood where parents are the ultimate authority, ultimate source of answers, ultimate source of marvel, and so on. You could look at Jaden and Jenna and Theo, and it’s still like that for them. They look up to Olga and I without questioning us.

Then comes the age when a child starts growing to be an independent woman or a man (usually around teenager years) where the kid grows up, and understands that parents don’t know everything, are not the only authority, there are other people to marvel at, etc. so the kid looks for authority and for answers within themselves and from other people. That is totally ok, because you need to grow up to become an adult.

Being an adult is the next stage, and that is an independent human being, who makes decisions and fully carries the responsibility for those decisions, provides for self, decides what is true for themselves, etc.

The next stage after becoming an adult is to have your own kids, and to be the source of answers, be looked up to, marveled by your own kids, make decisions for the kids, etc. 

This is the way of life.

And all this may be obvious stuff to you already. 

Here’s what may not be obvious. You don’t have to look at your parents in a way, as if they dropped in value in your eyes once you start transitioning into being an adult. We already never knew all the answers, we already never were the best people in the world, we already had questions that we are looking for answers to still. We are and always were just regular people. 

And we, the parents, knew it all along. But you, when you were a kid, thought that we are the world to you and know everything and so on, and now you discovered that parents dont know everything, they make mistakes, they are just people.
What happened? It’s just your perspective that shifted, nothing else.

What I suggest is that right now you don’t have to be disappointed in parents and family. Don’t be disappointed that we are not as good as you thought we were when you were a kid. Leave us as is, respect us, love us, thank us for taking you as far as we did (and we did a good job, keep that in mind). 

And you just discover other people and other opinions without that disappointment in parents. You don’t have to now constantly prove to you or us that there is a lot more out there than just what parents know or taught you, its stating the obvious.

There is a danger for a teenager to compare everything new that they learn now to what they were taught by parents. Also there is a danger to think that parents didn’t know all this since they didn’t teach it. 

That is a big danger and is not true. 

It’s like starting High School and thinking that all the teachers from before – from Middle and Elementary Schools – didn’t know everything, thinking they couldn’t teach you everything you are not learning in High School and previous grade teachers are dumber than the High School teachers. Is that true? No.
You as a first grader couldn’t receive things of High School, they would make no sense to you or they wouldn’t fit into your first grader head.
It would be wrong and offensive to go to the Middle School teacher, and tell them or give them an attitude of thinking that they are lower or should not be respected, because they couldn’t teach you what the High School teachers teach you now. 

Truth is, that you need to keep a good relationship with all levels and all grades of teachers. And when you finish college, you will realize that teachers that teach Elementary School had to go to college and learn a lot of things to be able to kid teach little kids. They may not teach, advanced mathematics, but they must learn how to steer little kids in the right direction and set them up for a successful learning of advanced mathematics when the time comes, they must teach a first grader on how to control their temper, how to make little kids be interested in life, and so on.
Every season has difficult and advanced needs.

Parents are the most marvelous, understanding, and loving people you will ever have. They will always be there for you, will always forgive you, will always support you, understand you, share everything with you, and so on. Siblings are a close second to all those things.

Bible says HONOR your parents, and Bible says to FORGIVE your brother (siblings). You see the difference? 

Honor is to respect and have proper respectful attitude at all times in all cases, no matter how you feel. Parents love you and understand you much more than you think. They were in your shoes and they have a birds-eye view of your life and all the stages of your life. That is what is due for parents. 

Forgive siblings because they are growing up with you, trying to figure things out with you, trying to earn a respectable place in this world, understand who they are and what they should do. So forgive your siblings for all they do, when they step on your toes. Parents do all this, because they already did it all when they were younger, for that you honor them and love them and ask them for advice. Siblings are still figuring things our and will be your help on the same level till you die. Parents are one generation older and more experienced, and will ALWAYS be ahead of you, even if you dont believe it. So learn to accept that and respect that. I still come to my parents once in a while to ask a question or advice, and that I honor to them personally and brings honor to them before other people. 

Please read this and re-read this. May God bless you and as return for honoring mama Olya and papa Bogdan may God give you a long a happy life. And may God forgive you with more grace and mercy than you forgive your brothers and sister.

Your forever loving papa Bogdan, and Papa God, through papa Bogdan.